Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha and Psychology

Any one with in-laws can relate to this week’s Parsha. There are only two people in the Torah who provide criticism to Moshe Rabeynu. One is Hashem, who we see time after time providing Moshe with guidance and feedback. The second is Moshe’s father in law.  Parshat Yitro presents a pivotal moment in the story of Bnei’s Yisrael’s acceptance of the Torah. Moshe Rabeynu’s  father-in-law, Yitro, visits him and offers wise counsel on leadership and delegation. Drawing on the psychological concept of barriers to delegation, we can explore valuable insights from Yitro's advice.

Moshe is sitting day and night, holding court for Bnei Yisrael who wait in line solely to speak with him. In watching this occurrence, Yitro tells Moshe, “The thing you are doing is not right.” “Navol tibbol gam-attah gam-ha'am hazzeh asher immach ki-chaved mimmecha haddavar lo-tuchal asohu levaddecha - you will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well, for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone,” (Exodus 18:17-24). The Or HaChaim writes that the word Navol is repeated because it has two meanings, with Yitro warning Moshe has if he continued this course at first he would be slightly weary but eventually he would burnout. Yitro suggested to Moshe a lesson that echos through history – to effectively operate, we must know when to delegate.

The Ibn Ezra writes on the pasukim above that Yitro was sharing with Moshe not only would he burnout, but it was irresponsible for Moshe to undergo such a strain and cause others the strain of waiting all day to speak with him. The Midrash further writes that the word Navol is a euphemism for a leaf wilting on the vine. Yitro suggests appointing capable leaders to assist Moshe in judging and resolving disputes among the people.

Yitro’s advice reflects the recognition that leaders cannot handle all responsibilities alone and that sharing the workload with capable individuals can lead to more efficient and just decision-making. This concept is relevant in psychology, emphasizing the benefits of delegation and collaboration for better outcomes. According to the book Outperform for Leaders, delegation is a critical and often vastly missing skill among leaders. In a 2017 study on time management, almost half of 332 companies surveyed were concerned about their employees’ ability to delegate. According to Harvard Business Review, a tell-tale sign that you’re beginning to resist delegation is if you find yourself working long hours and feeling that no one else at work or the family could do what you do.

For many of us, the problem isn’t that we don’t understand the importance of delegation. Instead, we can’t get around the psychological barriers that keep us from delegating such as: perfectionism, not wanting to bother others, or feeling it wont be done correctly. The concept of effective delegation and distributed leadership from Parshat Yitro can be applied to individuals and families in various ways:

1. Shared Responsibilities in Families:
• Families can benefit from distributing responsibilities amongst each other based on their strengths and capabilities.
2. Balancing Work and Personal Life:
• Individuals can apply the concept to balance their professional and personal lives effectively, helping manage time more efficiently and reduce stress.
3. Support Systems:
• Individuals facing challenges or decisions can benefit from seeking advice and support from others, just as Moshe sought advice from Yitro by creating a support system for counsel.

Parshat Yitro serves as a guide for understanding and overcoming psychological barriers to delegation. By acknowledging and addressing the barriers, we can foster a style that empowers others, encourages collaboration, and ultimately propels our family and community toward its shared goals.