Daf Yomi, Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Torah and Psychology
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph references a famous Talmudic legal dictum: “Koach D’Heteirah Adif,” the power of leniency is considered legally and morally superior. That is, if it is at all possible, finding a legitimate leniency is admirable, and also a worthy motivator and object of study.
The Shalah (Aseres HaDibros, Shevuos, Ner Mitzvah) explains and expands on this idea beautifully. It is worth quoting him directly, as it reveals an important principle in Torah study. While there is a legitimate trend, and it is considered God fearing to be careful with prohibitions, and to take on extra stringencies, it is not always the only moral imperative. Being lenient is also a moral duty as well, which may be underestimated. The question is: When to seek leniency and when to be strict? Let us see what the Shalah says. Below is my translation and excerpted summary of his words, which speak for themselves and require no additional commentary:
“My children, if a halachic matter comes before you and you have merited to be a halachic decisor and teacher, be prudent and God fearing that you not mislead the multitude. Before you render your decision, make sure it is clear as daylight in your hearts. If there’s any shadow of a doubt, find precedent in the legal corpus to see it with clarity. If you still have doubts, do not be ashamed to confer with other learned people….”
“Regardless, do not be tempted to say, ‘I’ll play it safe and render a ruling on the more strict side.’ To be unnecessarily stringent upon others is not considered rendering a halachic decision. If you wish to be strict on yourself, that is your business, but not for others. We find it related about King David (Berachos 4a) that he took great pains to find ways to render a woman pure from the blood of Niddah and childbirth. It is notable that his aim was not neutral. It was specifically to find ways for her to be permitted. This shows that it is an admirable aim to look for leniency, obviously in a responsible way…”
“Furthermore, even if one wants to be strict regarding himself, this is only if after due diligence, there remains a legitimate doubt. However, if this doubt comes from intellectual laziness, it is not worthy of esteem. To the contrary, this is what we call foolish piety…This may be the deeper meaning to the Talmudic adage (Berachos 8a) ‘It is greater to benefit from one’s own hard work than even fear of heaven.’ At first glance, this statement does not make sense. Of course it is a good thing to work honestly and benefit from it. But why is it being stressed that it is greater than fear of heaven? They are two important aspects, while somewhat interrelated, they are not mutually exclusive. The Shalah says, it is speaking directly to the sage who is in doubt of a certain halacha. He might think it is meritorious to simply and reflexively play it safe and be strict, at least in regard to his own personal practice. Shalah says, this is not necessarily so. If he has the ability to investigate and study further and to render a reasonable ruling, even for himself, he should seek out leniency instead of defaulting to the strict side. This then explains the statement. Much better to benefit from one’s own hard work, meaning hard work in rendering the halachic decision with clarity, than reflexively choosing the superficially God-fearing choice of a stringent ruling.”
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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com