This week’s Torah reading, Parshas Re’eh, forges two remarkable links between the 5 books of the Torah and our Nevi’im and Kesuvim. 

Moshe Rabenu uses distinctive language in warning us how not to act in the land we are poised to enter. At the same time, he introduces a new phrase in describing the manner that HaShem will interact with the land. In both instances, the language and phraseology is echoed in Nevi’im and Kesuvim. 

Moshe warns us “be careful do not fall into the trap of איש כל הישר בעיניו יעשה”: Each person acting as he - and he alone - sees fit. (Devarim: 12:8). This, of course, is a harbinger of the grim pronouncement made more than once in Sefer Shoftim: אין מלך בישראל איש הישר בעיניו יעשה (17:6). In fact, they are the closing words – the epitaph – of Shoftim (21:25), a book riddled with the Jewish nation’s impetuous, disastrous decisions. 

In addition, Moshe instructs us, more than 10 times (starting Devarim 12:5), to worship particularly “במקום אשר יבחר ד”: the place that Hashem will choose. This forecasts what Dovid Hamelech says about where and in whose portion Hashem ultimately chooses to rest His presence:

Hashem chose Tziyon; He desires it as an abode: (Tehillim 132:13) כי בחר ה׳ בציון, אוה למושב לו

He chose the tribe of Yehuda; Mount. Tziyon, which He loves: (78:68) ויבחר את שבט יהודה את הר ציון אשר אהב

He chose Dovid His servant; He took him from the sheep corrals. (78:70) ויבחר בדוד עבדו ויקחהו ממכלאת צאן

Both ”איש כל הישר בעיניו יעשה“ and “במקום אשר יבחר“ make their debut in Parshas Re’eh. Each spans centuries of Biblical history. Might there be something that connects these two weighty phrases with each other? I believe there is.  

The description of איש כל הישר בעניו יעשה reflects the tendency to make major life decisions on the basis of what is right in our own eyes. We willfully resist the guidance of those older than us, wiser than us, more learned than us. We make rash decisions; we act in haste. 

Perhaps correspondingly, we are directed to worship in the place that Hashem will choose for Himself (and us). Nestled in this directive is the remarkable notion that at present (and for hundreds of years to follow) the location and tribal association of Hashem’s ultimate earthly dwelling place remains undecided.

Hashem allots Himself a vast tract of time, a vast amount of lived experience, before selecting the final earthly resting place for His Shechina. He allows for the ripening of each Shevet/tribe’s experience with the land and of each Shevet’s capacity to create a sustained relationship with Him. Only then, does He choose the specific spot. (See especially Psalm 78.)

The notion of במקום אשר יבחר is the antidote to the rushed, impulsive decision making reflected in איש כל הישר בעניו יעשה: “Take your time; don’t rush. Pay attention to the entire video; don’t just rely on a snapshot.. 

The word יבחר may even contain a subtle hint as to how Hashem makes deliberate decisions and how we can make deliberative decisions. The hint is found in the manner Targum Onkelos approaches its root.

A basic survey of the root, בחר, yields two possible translations::

When Pharaoh chases after Bnei Yisroel, he takes with him שש מאות רכב בחור -  

600 choice chariots. There, Targum uses the twin Aramaic translation בחירו. The choice, the decision to take those chariots essentially divides between the chariots that were taken and the chariots that were not. Moshe instructs Yehoshua, by the war on Amalek בחר לנו אנשים - Targum again uses the twin Aramaic term and translates as בחר. Choose, decide which men should fight, and which men should not. A decision, like an incision, cuts, and divides. Some chariots, some soldiers make the cut; others do not. 

A very different translation of the term בחר is found here in Parshas Re’eh. The term במקום אשר יבחר is translated again and again as באתרא די יתרעי ה׳: The place that Hashem desires. יתרעי is related to יהי רעווא קדמך. It is related to ואהבת לרעך כמוך. The term יתרעי is about desire and passion, closeness and intimacy, friendship and connection. 

In sum, there are two complementary meanings for בחר. There is the one that divides - “I want separate the good soldiers and chariots from the dud..” This meaning is related to בחר’s philological “cousin”, חרב. After all, what does a sword do but cleave and separate - as in one body part from another.

Then there is the meaning of בחר that represents desire and passion, a meaning that connects, - יתרעי. It, of course, is more closely related to its philological “cousin” חבר, which is about friendship and connection. 

Undoubtedly, the act of בחירה involves both a move away from the poorly qualified, poorly matched people, places, and options and a move towards the person, place or option that best fits, that is most deserving.  

All the same, the process of elimination can conceivably move quickly. It’s relatively easy to disqualify and disconnect. In contrast, a true bond, a healthy, wholesome, passionate bond - one reflected in Targum’s יתרעי - takes time to forge. A bond of connection, likewise, withstands scrutiny; it is supported by those who we know to be wise. It stands the test of time. . 

There’s a beautiful story told - I heard it first from Rabbi Paysach Krohn - about Rav Eizele Charif. Rav Eizele lived roughly 150 years ago. When his daughter reached a marriageable age, he devised a novel way to seek her match. Rav Eizele visited Volozhin Yeshiva and posed a complex Talmudic question, with the premise that the student who answered best would be a top candidate to marry his daughter. 

The students of Volozhin began to deliberate. Over the course of several days, many of them approached Rav Eizele, each believing he had the best answer. Rav Eizele found flaws with the proposed answers, and each student returned dejectedly to his place. Eventually, Rav Eizele’s visit drew to a close.

With disappointment, Rav Eizele climbed into his wagon and began his ride home. As he reached the city limits, he became aware that a student was running after him. When the student reached his wagon, Rav Eizele asked “So do you have the answer?” The student replied “No, I don’t, but can you, at least, tell me your answer. I want to know the Emmes/truth.” Rav Eizele smiled: “Your’re the one I want for my daughter.” 

Choosing isn’t about quickly weeding out the bad choices; it's about forging a connection with (in this case) the right person, the one who demonstrates a thirst for knowledge and growth, the one who, over the course of time, reveals a heartwarming spiritual depth.

May we all face the big decisions of our life with deliberation, with intention, and with wisdom. May we not only rule out the unsuitable, but connect - deeply so - with those who are fitting and with all that is right for us.