Our Gemara on Amud Aleph makes a pronouncement about the preconditions for the coming of the Messiah:

Ze’eiri says that Rabbi Ḥanina says: The son of David will not come until the arrogant cease to exist from among the Jewish people, as it is stated: “For then I will remove from your midst your proudly exulting ones” (Tzefaniah 3:11), and it is written afterward: “And I will leave in your midst a poor and lowly people, and they shall take refuge in the name of the Lord” (Tzefaniah 3:12).

Certainly, arrogance is a problematic character trait. However, why, of all sinful behaviors and attitudes, is this singled out as a precondition for redemption?

Ben Porat Yosef (Miketz) explains that arrogance brings about a certain form of dissociation and mindlessness. This is not interpersonal arrogance but rather a lack of recognition of one’s place in the world. Forgetting our vulnerability and who we are in relation to God makes us unreceptive to direction. It is no accident that the humblest of people, Moshe, was the greatest prophet. We cannot receive God if we do not make room for Him.

He reads this idea allegorically into the verse describing Pharaoh’s Chief Wine Steward, who “forgot” about Yosef (Bereishis 40:23). This forgetfulness prevented Yosef’s redemption from prison. The forgetfulness of arrogance, Ben Porat Yosef says, is a form of soddenness that obstructs the perception of God and delays salvation. He therefore interprets the verse as follows: “The power (chief) of the wine (steward) caused Yosef to forget his place, leading him to remain in prison.”

In our relationship with God, dissociation and over-obsession with self blocks our perception of Him. People are made in the image of God, and when we see another person, the very challenge of recognizing someone outside ourselves breaks our self-absorption and allows us to perceive God as well.

This idea is reflected in the philosophy of Martin Buber, whose 1923 book Ich und Du describes two fundamental ways humans relate to the world: “I-Thou” and “I-It.”

•I-Thou: This is a direct, mutual, and present relationship, where one encounters another being (a person, nature, or even the Divine) as a whole, unique entity, not as an object. It is marked by openness, dialogue, and genuine connection, where both parties are fully engaged and recognized. For Buber, this is the more meaningful and authentic mode of existence—often fleeting and transcendent.

•I-It: This is a more detached, utilitarian relationship, where one interacts with something or someone as an object to be used, analyzed, or experienced rather than truly met. It is the mode of everyday life—practical but lacking the depth of I-Thou.

The I-Thou relationship is essential for human fulfillment and spiritual growth, particularly in our connection to others and to God (the “Eternal Thou”). This concept emphasizes presence and mindfulness, which require the quieting of inner demands and are facilitated by a humble recognition of our place in the world.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

If you liked this, you might enjoy my Relationship Communications Guide. Click on the link above.

Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com