Our Gemara on amud aleph tells a strange tale about a city whose inhabitants never, ever lied:

There was a certain Sage, Rav Tavut (or Rav Tavyomei, according to some), who was so committed to honesty that, even if offered the entire world, he would not deviate from the truth. He said: “One time, I happened to visit a place called Truth, where its residents were unwavering in their commitment to truth. No one there ever deviated from truth in their statements, and no one died prematurely. I married a woman from that city, and we had two sons.”

One day, while his wife was washing her hair, a neighbor knocked on the door. Rav Tavut thought it improper to reveal that his wife was bathing, so he told the neighbor, “She is not here.” Because of this deviation from the truth, his two sons died. The residents of the city came to him and asked: “What happened?” He explained the situation to them, and they said, “Please leave our city, and do not cause premature death among us.”

This aggadah is difficult to understand. It is well known in Jewish ethics that the prohibition against lying is relative to other values, such as avoiding conflict or preserving modesty (see Bava Metzia 23b and Yevamos 65b). Therefore, Rav Tavut was within his rights to bend the truth to protect his wife’s modesty. Even if he did commit the sin of lying, the punishment — having his sons die — seems disproportionate.

I believe the key perspective here is that we often fail to appreciate the protective, soteriological effect of a positive practice or custom. What may seem like a mild or inconsequential mitzvah or transgression to others, once accepted as a practice, may be preventing an unknown fate. To illustrate, imagine an old brick wall that has been sandblasted and cleaned of dirt. The dirt, which had filled the cracks, had served as a sort of adhesive for years. Once it is removed, the wall crumbles. Similarly, Rav Tavut’s sons didn’t die as a direct punishment; they may have been suffering from terminal illnesses that were being prevented by the merit of their father and the city’s inhabitants. The city was not immune to death—it simply offered protection from untimely death.

In Chassidus, there is a well-known story attributed to the Baal Shem Tov (Shivchei HaBaal Shem Tov) that emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive practice. The story tells of a simple Jew who recited Tehillim (Psalms) daily with great devotion, even though he was not a Torah scholar. One day, due to his obligations, he decided to skip his daily recitation. That very day, he found himself in great danger—almost falling into a deep pit—but was saved at the last moment.

Later, when he approached his Rebbe, the Baal Shem Tov, and asked for an explanation, the Baal Shem Tov said, “Because of your steadfast custom of reciting Tehillim, you were protected from misfortunes. When you stopped, the shield that protected you weakened, and that’s why you almost fell into trouble. Do not abandon your good custom, for it serves as your protection.”

This story appears in various forms in Chassidic literature, such as in Sippurei Chassidim by Rabbi Shalom Dov Ber Schneersohn and in Shivchei HaBaal Shem Tov. The lesson here is that a simple good custom creates spiritual merit that protects a person.

Even in non-spiritual realms, if one takes a certain nutrient or medication and suddenly stops, they may suffer withdrawal. Similarly, in relationships, if a family suddenly loses its equilibrium—due to a change of job, geography, or the loss of a patriarch—they may become destabilized. There may have been invisible anchors holding family members together and keeping them grounded. Even secular rituals like annual family gatherings or vacations are important, not to mention the deeper religious practices and customs that express our devotion.

That said, there are always exceptions. Sometimes life circumstances require letting go of certain practices to cope with new demands. It is important to consult a posek if this involves a vow or halachic obligation (such as hattaras nedarim).

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com