On this daf we begin to learn about the relationship between husband and wife, father and daughter, in their ability to sometimes jointly, and sometimes individually, annul vows. A single Na’arah who makes a vow can have it annulled by her fathers say so on the day that he hears about it. If she is an arusa (married via kiddushin but not nisuin, that is not living together as husband and wife and still in her father’s house), the husband and father must annulthe vow jointly. After Nisuin, as she is now fully married, the husband by himself can annul the vow.

Likkutei Torah (Mattos) understands a mystical metaphor in this process, representing the experience of the Jewish soul in current times and ultimately Messianic times. He starts with analyzing the ethical and moral function of a vow. As we have seen in numerous places in Nedarim, therabbis were ambivalent about the appropriateness of vows, as taking on extra prohibitions, while in an impulsive moment might make sense, ultimately could be overreaching and caused more sinning. (See Nedarim 10a and Yerushalmi Nedarim 9:1.) According to Rav Nachman, the proper vow comes from a recognition that the person is not yet developed enough to enjoy that which is permitted in the world with sincere intention to serve God instead of hedonistic lust. In other words, that which is permitted and not forbidden by the Torah is meant to be enjoyed with the proper intention. However, since this person cannot do so he engages in vows both to make it forbidden but also to learn the value of abstinence.

This stage of soul development is comparable to that of the betrothed woman (arusa), that is it is a halfway state and represents an immature form of love. Therefore, in order to “break the vow”, that is, to break the power of the need to experience abstinence and to develop the ability to enjoy the pleasures of this world in service and through attachment to God, there needs to be annulment from the “husband“ and “father“. The “father” is a metaphor for the love that comes from God out of mercy, not necessarily deserving it, and this mercy is aroused through prayer. While the “Husband“ is a metaphor for the study of Torah, as it is a form of mastery and possession and connection to God. In this world, it requires both the combination of prayer and study of Torah, to achieve closeness and transcendence over lust and physical limitations.

However in the Messianic era, the relationship to God will be a fully consummated marriage.

And on this comments Kesuvos 71b

״וְהָיָה בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא נְאוּם ה׳ תִּקְרְאִי אִישִׁי וְלֹא תִקְרְאִי לִי עוֹד בַּעְלִי״, אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: כְּכַלָּה בְּבֵית חָמִיהָ, וְלֹא כְּכַלָּה בְּבֵית אָבִיהָ.

Similarly, concerning the verse “And it shall be on that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me: My Husband [Ishi], and you will no longer call Me: My Master [Ba’ali]” (Hosea 2:18), Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The meaning is: Like a bride in her father-in-law’s house after she has already lived with her husband, whom she is consequently not ashamed to call her marriage partner, and not like a betrothed bride still in her father’s house, who simply refers to her groom as: My master.

At that time, the limitations of this world in attaching to God will be broken through the love in the relationship alone, as after nisuin, the husband can by himself annul the vow.

Aside from this poetic language that makes good shalosh seudos divrei Torah, is there practical significance? It is important to understand the two channels of connection to God, and how together they achieve an elevated state, that cannot be reached by each method alone. Much as the father and the husband must break the vow together, prayer and study of Torah is essential to appeal to the emotional and intellectual combination that is necessary to find and recognize God in this world. 

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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