Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

November 21st, 2024

Parshat Chayei Sara is often pointed to as the Parsha of Shidduchim, match matching, however it can offer us a powerful insight into the importance of cultivating love. One of the central themes in this parsha is the concept of love and partnership. The marriage between Yitzchak and Rivka provides us with wonderful insights to apply to our own loving relationships.   The passuk says “Vayyikkach et-rivkah vattehi-lo le'ishah vayye'ehave …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

November 17th, 2024

Question: As a teenager our son saw a therapist for a while due to some burnout/slash depression. Baruch Hashem with some adjustments to his yeshiva life and the help he received he is doing amazing and has been for a while. He is still on a low dose of medication which has worked well for him. When he tried going off, he relapsed and our consensus is that it's best for him to stay on it for now. Now that he is starting shidduchim  …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 24th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a type of legal deed known as a dayetikei. While this document shares similarities with other legal titles and deeds, it often specifically refers to a will or an estate bequeathal. A beautiful Midrash (Yalkut Shimoni, Nach 968) uses the term dayetikei in a parable to explore humanity’s relationship with desires and the Evil Inclination (Yetzer Hara): There was a man who frequently traveled to an inn for bu …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 22nd, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph explores whether tefillin fall under the category of nechasim. Are they excluded because of their sacred status and their unsuitability for sale, or are they included due to their utility as items worn on the body, similar to clothing? (See Rashbam, Sefer Torah.) The notion of tefillin as a type of malbush (clothing) brings to mind the Maharal’s (Be’er HaGolah 4) explanation of the metaphysical significance of …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 22nd, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the scope of assets included when a gift giver uses the word nechasim—an umbrella Aramaic term for possessions and assets. Does this term encompass movable property, cattle, and cash, or is it restricted to real estate? The word nechasim has an ancient and enigmatic etymology, lacking clear Hebrew or Aramaic roots. The Maharal (Nesiv HaOsher 2) highlights this and notes that there are four primary terms for …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 21st, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis further discusses the status of a deathbed gift and whether such a gift is automatically retracted if the person miraculously recovers. To assume an implied condition that would reverse an explicitly granted gift, there must be unambiguous evidence that this was the giver’s intention. Therefore, the rule only applies if the person gave away all his possessions, leaving nothing behind. Such actions indicate someone wh …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 20th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis continues discussing the status of deathbed gifts. One feature of these gifts is that if the person miraculously recovers, the gifts are reversed, as it is assumed the person most likely did not intend to give them away if he were going to survive. However, strong evidence is required to support this assumption, and thus the rule only applies if the person gives away all of his possessions, leaving nothing behind. Such act …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 19th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis explains the reasoning behind the extra legal power granted to a person on their deathbed to make gifts without requiring physical acts of acquisition (kinyan) to signify the transfer of ownership. In such cases, words alone suffice to effectuate the transfer: The halakha that the gift of a person on his deathbed does not require an act of acquisition is merely by rabbinic law, instituted lest he see that his will is not b …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

November 14th, 2024

    Parshat Vayera provides us with a continuation of the story of Avraham on his path to becoming the ultimate patriarch of the Jewish nation. As described in the Amidah, while we channel all the Avot in the first Bracha, we end by singling out Avraham. Rambam in the previous parsha citing a Medresh Tanchuma introduced us to the concept of “Maaseh Avot Siman L'banim - Whatever has happened to the patriarchs is a sign to the child …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 18th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph raises an interesting challenge to the verse in Mishlei (15:15): “All the days of the pauper are bad.” It asks: Isn’t it true that even the poor experience good times, such as Shabbos and Yom Tov, when they have access to food and rest? Shmuel responds that even a change to richer food may upset the stomach, so the poor suffer even when they eat better meals. The Bnei Yissachar (Ma’amar 10:4) delve …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 17th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis references a verse in Mishlei (15:15): “A good heart is consistently drinking.” The Gemara interprets this to mean that a person with a “good heart” has a certain equanimity, a disposition that enables them to handle stress and challenges without becoming overwhelmed. Rather than a call for literal intoxication, the verse points to a state of inner resilience and composure. Rav Uri Grossman, citing …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 15th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis explores the distribution of profits from inherited assets prior to dividing an estate. It discusses cases where one brother might contribute more effort or productivity, but the benefit may still be shared among all brothers if they’re supporting each other as part of a household. The Gemara states: “If one of the brothers engaged in a trade of his own volition, the profits are his alone. The Sages taught in a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 15th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the Torah’s directive about the separation of Terumah from produce to be given to the Kohen. The verse reads: “And you shall bear no sin by reason of it, seeing that you have set apart from it the best thereof” (Bamidbar 18:32). The Gemara interprets this as a warning not to designate inferior produce as Terumah while retaining the superior portion for oneself. Yet, beyond this practical messag …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 14th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis describes how Shmuel went to significant lengths to ensure the publicity of a particular halakhic ruling: “Shmuel said to Rav Ḥana of Baghdad: Go out and bring me an assembly of ten men, and I will say a halakha to you in their presence, so that it will be well publicized. The halakha was: With regard to one who transfers ownership of an item to a fetus, the fetus acquires the item.” This case raises an inter …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 13th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph presents a curious interpretation of the verse about Avraham in Bereishis (24:1): “And Avraham was old, well advanced in age; and the Lord had blessed Avraham with everything [bakkol]” (Genesis 24:1). Rabbi Yehuda explains that this blessing meant Avraham had a daughter, whom he named Bakkol. At first glance, this statement seems puzzling—would the Sages have us believe that the phrase “blessed wit …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 12th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph continues discussing special enactments and protections that the rabbis put in place to ensure that, although daughters do not inherit alongside their brothers, stipends and allowances are set aside from the estate to provide for them and assist with marriage expenses. The Mishna on the previous amud states: In the case of one who died and left behind both sons and daughters, when the estate is large, the sons inherit it, …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 11th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud beis discusses a case of a woman who entered marriage with a prior debt. This Gemara brings to mind a modern phenomenon that can trouble some couples today: one spouse may be shocked to discover, post-marriage, that the other has accrued significant credit card debt. According to one study (Center for Marriage and Family, 2000; Schramm & Lee, 2003), debt brought into marriage is the number one conflict issue for newlyweds. …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

November 6th, 2024

Parasha Lech Lecha begins the story of the birth of Bnei Yisrael. While many of us are familiar with the quality of ‘Chesed’ – ‘Loving kindness’ being directly associated with Avraham Avinu, one of his key qualities that is understated is one of his ability to show gratitude. The Parsha provides us with keen insight into the psychological concept of cultivating an attitude of gratitude. The beginning of the Parsha st …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 10th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph explores various situations in which someone is given property or a gift, and the recipient remains silent. Does this silence imply consent, or could it simply reflect a decision to defer dealing with it? In some cases, the opinion is that silence does not necessarily mean agreement, as the individual may be thinking, “Why should I worry about this now?” As the Gemara notes, some people may choose not to raise …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 8th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes a despicable character type known as a rasha arum—a cunning wicked person—who exploits the law for morally questionable purposes. This type of person, the Gemara explains, is one who advises someone to sell property in line with the ruling of Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel, though not permitted to do so. The act is technically valid, but it deprives another designated party of their right to the property. …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 8th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis presents a well-known dispute between Rav Yochanan and Reish Lakish regarding the nature of property ownership. Specifically, they argue about whether a person who holds the rights to a property's produce, but does not own the land itself, is considered a landowner. This has various halachic implications, as certain obligations are triggered by land ownership:   Rabbi Yoḥanan holds that purchasing the rights to use …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 7th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis addresses a case where a deceased person’s will was found tied to his thigh, a way to secure important documents in that era. In Maaseh Shem (Avos 33), this principle is applied to Esav’s angel wrestling Yaakov and striking his thigh (Bereishis 32:26), as if intending to destroy the document representing Esav’s sale of the birthright to Yaakov.   This interpretation is clever, but there are other pro …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 6th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph details the vast array of wisdom, Torah knowledge, and even scientific expertise mastered by a Torah scholar like Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, the least among Hillel the Elder’s eighty students:   The Sages said about Rabban Yoḥanan ben Zakkai that he did not neglect Bible and Mishna, Talmud, halachos and aggados, minutiae of the Torah and minutiae of the scribes, hermeneutical principles for a fortiori inferen …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 5th, 2024

Our gemara on Amud Beis records a dialogue between Rav Illish and Rav. Rav made a mistaken ruling which Rav corrected. Rav Ilish was embarrassed and so To comfort him, Rav read the following verse about him: “I, the Lord, will hasten it in its time” (Isaiah 60:22), as if to say: It was due to Divine Providence that I was here to correct you before your mistaken ruling was implemented   This verse is classically interpreted by our …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 5th, 2024

The Rashbam, at the beginning of Amud Aleph, discusses aspects of the kesuba (Jewish marriage contract) that make it different from other debts. It has limitations on lien enforcement and variations in collection power, partly reflecting a reality observed by the Rabbis in social patterns. Recognizing that women—due to lower earning potential and other economic disadvantages—might experience vulnerability after marriage, the Rabbis en …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

October 31st, 2024

Parshat Noach delves into the story of Noah and the great flood. The central focus of the parsha is the family of Noah, who, together with his wife, three sons, and their wives, survive the deluge aboard the ark. This tight-knit family of eight navigate the challenges of confinement and isolation during their time on the ark, offering us profound insights into familial interactions and their psychological dynamics.   Family dynamics refer to …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

October 31st, 2024

In our latest Q&A episode, Talli and Scott address some of the many questions submitted by listeners regarding Judaism and intimacy. Among the issues they discuss are repairing sexuality after 15 years of “doing it wrong,” consensual threesomes, sex therapy versus couples therapy, when a wife wants sex more than her husband, tubal ligation, looking at porn to get in the mood, and much more. Listen to the episode here …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 3rd, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses the idea that a judge must use his common sense and logic to determine the truth as best he can, knowing that it is impossible for any mortal to be absolutely certain:   A judge has only what his eyes see as the basis for his ruling. One must rule according to his own understanding.   This idea, however, not only frees a judge from responsibility for matters beyond his perception, but as is often the c …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 1st, 2024

Our Gemara on amud beis provides principles for deriving halachic rulings from precedent and observed behaviors of authoritative sources and rabbis:   One may derive the halakha neither from a statement nor from an incident where one saw a ruling issued in a certain manner, unless the Sages explicitly tell him that it is the practical halacha. If he asked the Sages and they told him the practical halakha, he may go and act upon the ruling in …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

November 1st, 2024

Our Gemara on amud beis discusses a conceptual difference between something that is gifted versus bequeathed:   If a person on his deathbed said: My property is given to you, and after you to so-and-so, and the first recipient was fit to inherit from him, the second gets nothing in place of the first. That is, he does not receive the property after the first one dies, as this formulation employed by the owner was not one of a gift, but a for …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 31st, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses a situation in which a witness observed an event while mentally competent, then lost his sanity, and later returned to compos mentis. One might think that since there was a period when his thinking was compromised, even if he seems restored, perhaps some aspect of his memory or thought remains distorted. This could be compared to reassembling a complex piece of machinery and finding a few parts left over on the …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 30th, 2024

On our daf, we observe the great respect held for the concept of inheritance, particularly in regard to the firstborn. While generally, a person may stipulate whatever he pleases concerning his property, the restrictions are stricter regarding the firstborn’s inheritance. This is evident in the sugyos of the previous and upcoming dappim. For example, a father has the special power to identify his firstborn, waiving ordinary evidentiary requ …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 29th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud beis discusses a paranormal method used to determine whether a child is the firstborn of the mother or the father. This has significant halachic implications, as only the natural firstborn of the father inherits a double portion, regardless of the mother's previous birthing history (Shulchan Aruch 277:8).   It is taught as a tradition that the saliva of a father's firstborn can heal a specific ailment, whereas the saliva o …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 28th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a halachic aspect of the inheritance process. Specifically, the double portion granted to a firstborn applies only to property that is in actual possession, as opposed to funds that are due, such as an unpaid loan. The Noam Elimelech (Sefer Shemos, Shemos 5) uses this concept to address an age-old theological question: why do some righteous individuals seem to suffer greatly in this world, while others prosper in …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 22nd, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses the halachic principle that a firstborn inherits a double portion. The Imrei Shefer (Vayikra 10:12) uses this idea to address a textual and halachic question regarding the Torah’s description of Aharon’s remaining sons. The verse refers to Elazar and Isamar as “Aharon’s remaining sons,” which typically implies a smaller remnant of a larger group, as noted by the Taz (YD 43:7). Aharo …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 21st, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph recounts a story that illustrates the intense drama and intrigue surrounding Yaakov as he navigated the cunning deceit of his father-in-law, Lavan:   Yaakov and Rachel engaged in a significant exchange before their marriage. Yaakov proposed to Rachel, and she responded by warning him, “Yes, but my father is a deceitful person, and you cannot outwit him.” She explained that her father, Lavan, would never a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 21st, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph explains that the tribes measured the value of land in Israel based on its proximity to Jerusalem. The closer the land was to Jerusalem, the more valuable it was considered. This seems logical—land closer to the center of spiritual life would naturally be more desirable.   However, this Gemara appears to contradict a fundamental Jewish ethic known as sechar halicha, the reward for the effort expended in perform …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 20th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses one of the reasons why the 15th of Av became a traditional day of rejoicing, drawing from the experience of the Jews in the wilderness. After the sin of the spies, it was decreed that the entire generation would wander for 40 years and die out before entering the land of Israel. Eichah Rabbah (Pesicha) offers a poignant description of how the 15th of Av marked a turning point in their fate:   Rabbi Avin and …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 20th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us about Yocheved, Moshe’s mother, who was born “between the walls” during the transition into Egypt. According to one opinion, her birth completed the missing number in the census, allowing us to reach the 70 souls described in Bereishis 46:27, even though the actual count comes to 69.   The Maharal (Gevuros Hashem, Yayin Nesech) explores the significance of the number 70, as well as the fact …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 19th, 2024

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses how the daughters of Zelophehad received an additional portion of inheritance due to their father, Hepher, who was a firstborn. A firstborn is entitled to two portions of inheritance, but this leads to a halachic question: What type of property could Hepher claim when we have a tradition that a firstborn does not receive a double portion from assets that are not yet in possession? The land of Israel was an asset …
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